Of My Brother Nick:
It was Nick who was named, in my will, as the one to look after Chantelle and Kaitie's well-being if their mother and I had died while the two girls were still minors. He had agreed to take up such supervision, of course, though he believed himself completely unsure of raising the children himself.
I always loved my brother, Nick, and now that something is sealed forever. Nick was, after all, eight years my senior. So, as little boy and by "near osmosis" , I saw much of my world to come through his initial experiences. As one of my older brothers, I looked up to him in many ways and thus these experiences of his had a major impact on my own early life.
The most impressive experience, and when I was eight years old, was a return trip crossing Canada from Montreal to Vancouver in one car with two tents, one grandmother, mother, two other brothers, and Nick. I am still quite convinced that without Nick, the trip would have ended somewhere in north-western Ontario. He had us develop a set-up camp routine of individual tasks that truly impressed other campers. We had the set-up down to 20-30 minutes with all amenities at the ready. Once that was set, I think even Grandma considered the possibility that she might survive the trip.
During that trip, Nick had a new Kodak camera. And, he took the taking of photographs really seriously. So much so, I think it burned out any interest in photography for the rest of his life. However, I recall only two incidents of photo taking.
He loved the black bears that we encountered. And, he did get a full face close up of one such black bear. He had rolled down the car window to take a snap shot of a bear alongside the car. But in the second it took to frame and snap the shutter, the bear had leaped up with fore paws on the car door to get a good sniff of Nick's new camera. Nick was sorely shaken at the close encounter. And for me, it meant that the unexpected can happen at any moment.
The other photo incident was when Nick had warned me not to follow as he chased a bear between two cabins to take a photo. Just moments later, Nick exited the way he had entered the alleyway screaming for us to run to the car. The bear had reportedly turned around and was chasing Nick. That formative experience taught me that if you take a risk, make sure that you have an exit strategy at hand.
Other formative moments thanks to Nick's teenage experiences that left indelible impressions upon me included fishing, Sea Scouts, golf caddy, pistol target practice, the musical band known as The Pete-Nicks, his piano playing, and his first serious girlfriend, named "Cookie".
My first real job of more than a week or so, when I was sixteen, was thanks to Nick. It was also the first personal experience that lives can go in completely different directions. Nick was made for cooperate office work. I was definitely not. And, though Nick may not have been able to understand that very well, he accepted it. Given the evidence, i may have left him with little choice to the contrary. However, he did not give up. Two years later, when I was again in need, he came through with another opportunity for me. But, that did not go much better than the experience two years earlier.
Though I had let him down on more than one occasions, his support never wavered. Being a man of organization and vision, he could see potential in just about anyone or anything. He could not even cut grass without seeing potential nor doing it without serious fore-planning. The times he spent at our parents' place in Nova Scotia were largely spent on cutting back grass and brush to make the outdoor living space much larger, which eventually evolved into an award winning garden of flowers planted by our mother.
He came to see all my local performances as an actor. Nick hosted the first all adult family get together (letting me store my drums in his basement for the next year). He was my best man at my second of two failed marriages.
Most importantly, we had fun together: racing Porches on the Laurentian AutoRoute, watching golf on TV, beating me endlessly at Nintendo Mario, and playing Mah Jong. The family legacy of playing Mag Jong was taken to new levels among Nick and his friends. My walks along the streets of China would bring to mind thoughts of Nick as the Saturday games were being played out at tables along the sidewalks. So, I had to be sure that the game set bought for one of my daughters, in Beijing, would have to meet with Nick's approval. And, it did.
Nick did not have the experience of being a father, but as an uncle, he never stopped caring about his extended family and especially, as I would know it, about my relationship with Chantelle and Kaitlin . He was a great brother and friend whose help when needed was always there at the ready. I shall sorely miss Nick, his dry humour, wry wit, charm, grace, chats, and strength, even in the face of personal struggle whether his own or that of someone dear to him.
Of my brother, Nick, he made my life better, easier and happier to live, and in more ways than I have managed to explain above.
Martin
